Wednesday, 12 September 2012

End Of An Era...

Despite my rendevous with Mr. T. I had a lot of other things going on as I previously mentioned.  I had to pack up a chapter of my life and get ready for the next one.

I decided to completely clear my life out of my parents way.  I had no immediate plans to return and as I had the biggest room in the house it seemed wasted to be filled with my belongings when they could use the room as a guest room or something.  I also had to pack a bag to take to Australia.

Two days solid of sorting out clothes and I had managed to weedle the things that I wanted to take with me to about 80kg.. that's 60 more to cut!  I was stressing at this point that I would never be able to do it.  I left it to one side and focused on the other things I had to get done... The initial goodbyes.

Around Christmas time I had started to branch out from my usual friends and had hooked up with some people I had known back in my school and college days.  Two particular people stand out: Daffyd and Faith.  Daffyd is hands down possibly the funniest man on the planet.  In all the time I have known him he has been able to render me in fits of hysterics and for some reason I just feel like we totally get each other and are on the same page.  Adding to this he is also one of the nicest, kindest most genuine guys I have had the fortune of having in my life.  I trusted this man, he was an absolute gem.  I was gutted at the thought of a rekindled friendship being put on hold again, but as I started to realise, significant people will still be there.  No matter where you are in the world they will still be your friend.  This brings me to Faith.  A truly inspiring girl with a crazy amount of courage and just as much of a kook as I am!  The three of us worked well together, hanging out, talking random nonsense... could not get enough of these people.

Then there is Vdog... the younger sister of my best friend from school.  Not so much a best friend any more but rather a girl who has completely lost her marbles and her way in life.  Anyway that is a whole different story.  Vdog, we just clicked.  She told me she was pregnant and told me the names she liked for her baby... I laughed and mocked her because she had chosen such chavvy names!  A bit mean.  I was a little upset that I would not be around to see her become a mum, but again, good friends will understand the decisions you make and will be there regardless.

No matter what there would always be a reason for me not to leave.  There would never be a right time to leave and live my own life, so I had to go and know that I was making this decision to improve my life and I had to take this chance whilst I could.

It didn't make saying goodbye any easier though.

When I told people what I planned to do I don't think anyone thought I would actually go.  I had been feeling down for as long as people could remember and it was totally out of character for me to do something this unplanned, this couragous.  I was going to Australia baby!

As exciting as it was it was tinged with sadness.  My third nephew was due just days before I was to leave and I was worried about my decision not to be around whilst he was growing up.. He arrived earlier than expected which was excellent because I got to spend time with him!  He was gorgeous!  He was given the same name as The Perfect Gent.  I could not get away from this man!

There were several goodbye dinners, drinks and meetings that I had to attend and I would be lying if I said it wasn't fun spending so much time with all the people I loved.  I realised the people who loved me back.

I needed to say goodbye to Ali and had arranged to meet him for beers before a party.  We had grown to become best friends in the time that we had finished dating or whatever it was that we did.  He had also got a girlfriend by this point and was extremely happy.  It was lovely to know that we could be such good friends after we were a "we".  After our beers we went to the party and ended up getting drunk.  The party wasn't that good and we ended up giggling all night together.  I look across the room whilst I was talking to someone else and see that Ali was mouthing something to me.  It takes me a little while to work out what he was saying.  Then I realised.  "I want you", and "I can't stop thinking about you"...  So it's true, you tell everyone you are leaving the country and suddenly they realise their feelings for you.  I now had a collection: The Perfect Gent, Mr. T and Ali.

We decide that the party isn't worth hanging around for any more and go to get a cab.  Walking down the road he stops me, grabs my hand and pulls me into a kiss that really should not be happening.  Now I realise what you are thinking.  How could I kiss someone who had a girlfriend?  I was drunk and was not thinking at all.  All I knew was that this man was (and I quote Friends) my lobster.  He was my Ross.  Me and him really were never off the table.  Next thing I know I am at his parents and we are having sex.  Oh crap.  Why, how, when, where, back to why do I get into these situations.  As good as it was, and as right as it felt, we both suddnly sobered up when his step-mum walked in.  Oh CRAP!  I am so embarrassed!  And I realise that this is the best thing that could have happened.  We really should not have been doing that.  We both leave the house and he walked me home.  We are both drunk and embarrassed but realise that this was meant to happen for a reason.  I text Miss Cupcake when I got in to tell her. 

I woke up the next day and remembered what had happened and what I had done.  I felt so ashamed of myself.  I text Ali and we both agreed never to speak of what had happened and to resume our friendship.  Which we did.  But we both knew that there was more.  That we had feelings that we shouldn't have.  And whilst it was not the best decision I have ever made, it made me realise how amazing me and Ali were and that it really was never off the table...

Until Next Time... xx

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