Tuesday 24 January 2012

The Birth Of A Geordie And A Beautiful Friend...

So Miss Handsome was celebrating her 25th Birthday... Which means... Girls Night Out! Place of Choice: Soho; Poison; Cocktails and Vino..........
So to inform you, I have a slight addiction to regional British accents (both hearing them and speaking in them) and whilst welsh is my favourite, I have always had a soft spot for Geordie.  Partly down to a Geordie boy I met one year on holiday when I was a teenager, and partly due to my other addiction, Cheryl Cole.  Anyway, I am digressing... Miss Handsome, Sarah-Jayne (S-J), Loubie and I were in a taxi on our way to Soho when out of nowhere I heard Miss Cole's voice.  Except, nope, it was S-J.  Wow this girl was gooooood!  I had to learn this...

We reached the bar ready for birthday celebrations to commence, I had given up learning the Geordie accent and resorted to Scottish (the first ever accent I learnt to replicate) and all was going well.  Our other friends Red and Mr Wells came along.  Before total inebriation occurred, Loubie and I were getting acquainted (she is Miss Handsome's cousin and we hadn't met before) and talking about being single when two guys walked in and we both stopped and almost at the same time, said "the tall one is hot"... moments later we realise that 'the tall one' is Sarah-Jayne's friend from university.

I don't remember very much of that night and in my defence I am writing this in hindsight so it was a good 4 months ago.  I remember going outside for a cigarette with S-J and speaking to two American guys, but after that I remember kissing 'the tall one' but have absolutely no idea how it happened.  He left earlier than the rest of us, but we swapped phone numbers before he left.

After the hazy middle part of that night, I remember being in deep conversation with Loubie's brother Jean and telling him that I was learning to speak Spanish.  Funnily enough he said he was learning also.  We ended up comparing the Spanish that we knew... This is not something I would normally do, but I got on really well with Jean and we were kind of on the same wavelength... Some months later, Miss Handsome decides that I am ideal candidate to be Jean's girlfriend!  And in an entirely innocent way, I like him but only as a friend.  We come back to that, you can have a spark with someone and get on really well, but if you just don't fancy them, then it just won't work.  Though honoured that she thought of me to be good enough for her cousin.  She is a notoriously family orientated person and it is one of the things that makes you like her so much...

It was a good night until we all left in a drunken state.  We get outside the bar and S-J and I were craving carb-fuelled stodge.  We were a stones throw from Chinatown so it was the perfect location to adhere to sorting out the hangover before it had occurred.  That was until Miss Handsome threw a complete wobbler about being selfish and not wanting to go further than the Subway which was directly next to the bar.  I, in my usual fashion, agreed with her to save on the argument and because I wasn't really up for a full scale confrontation in the middle of the street whilst drunk.  I concurred and followed Miss Handsome in for a not so delicious or satisfying salad sub.  There were just a few of us in Subway, and S-J was one of the few that weren't.  Where had she gone to?  Our taxi pulls up outside Subway after we had eaten and as we were walking out I spot Sarah-Jayne coming along clutching a white plastic carrier bag...?

We get into the cab and what is that I can smell... Stodge... S-J!!!  She lifts the tin tray from the bag, my eyes in permanent contact with it.  She lifts the lid to reveal the greasiest chicken chow mein known to man.  I am in awe of a girl with a chicken chow mein.  It crosses my intoxicated mind that I need to get a life.  I watch her like I am watching the M&S adverts, my mouth is actually watering.  I notice that she is struggling to get the chow mein loaded fork between the lengths of her hair and into her mouth and for a little while I actually just watch her struggle before I hold her hair back for her.  It takes a good friend to hold a girls hair back when she is being sick, but an even better friend to hold a girls hair back so she can stuff her face!  I believe that was a defining moment for me and S-J.

Once back at Miss Handsome's house, S-J and I race upstairs in a bid to snag the bed before the others reach the room.  We start to get ready for bed, makeup off, hair tied up, pyjamas on etc and get into the bed and turn the lights off so that if anyone comes in they think that we are asleep rather than bundle in.  It was about half an hour before we realised that nobody was coming.  We kind of expected to share the bed with Miss Handsome, but nope, no interruption?  That was until... Boom Boom Boom (that is somewhat an understatement, but the best way I can describe the noise that infiltrated my ears) which came from the room up the stairs from a different housemate.  It was so loud that I couldn't hear S-J speak even though she was laying next to me.  She decided to go to the room, politely knock (it wasn't heard) and she entered.  The music was lowered.  Result.  When she returned about twenty-minutes after her departure she was giggling.  I quote her saying that they thought she was a born and bred Geordie!  I told you her Miss Cole impression was good!  I started practising right away!  About another hour and quite a lot more Geordie and laughing and I was out of it.

Waking up first, S-J not much later and still no sign of Miss Handsome.. Well I slept well!  I arose to S-J telling me that I snore (I don't think I do, nobody has ever told me that before) and that I was trying to cuddle her apparently!  Well I won't deny enjoying a Sunday morning cuddle.  We get up and go downstairs and the living room was clear of people.  Huh?  Even Miss Handsome was nowhere to be seen.  We then heard clattering from the kitchen and she is washing up.  She asked if we slept well and why we had disappeared, mocking our bid-and-win of the bed, and having not had my carb craving satisfied the night before I wanted breakfast.  Bring on the greasy spoon...

Feeling guiltily over-full (there is something about a hangover breakfast and large mug of tea) we retired back to Miss Handsome's as we wanted to spend as much time as possible with her.  Knowing that we reasonably had around an hour before we had to leave (an hour drive home after that and we wouldn't have much of Sunday left to do all the things you are supposed to do over a weekend instead of getting drunk) we just sat down with (another) cup of tea and just chatted for a while.  Then we decided that it would be funny to take photos of ourselves.  So funny that about four hours passed and none of us had noticed!  It is definitely true that it isn't what you are doing or where you are, it is about the people you are with and time definitely flies when you are having fun!  Miss H and S-J know about my prudish mentality and whilst I was taking a telephone call, they were engineering the opening of the "Fanny Cafe"... you know where you have someone way out of shot (me) and then point your fingers to make it look as though they are arrows.  Only they had marked "Fanny Cafe" on S-J's finger and "Open 24/7" on Miss Handsome's!  I played along once I realised what they were up to.. even turning around so bottom was in shot!  All part of my learning to be more confident!

We had had a good weekend.  It was tinged with some sadness though as Miss H had been offered a three month contract working at a theme park in Abu Dhabi.  Whilst I was really really really pleased that she had got the job and thought that wow it would be amazing, a selfish part of me wanted her to stay with us and keep the laughs coming...  And she did...

 

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