Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Tea and Nakedness...

So (along with my new addiction to a tea with two) I get over what I was dreading the most (christmas and new year) to remember that now I'm single.  Single and going to have to start dating again and have to let said date/new boyfriend see me naked!  Oh crap!

I took a couple of months avoiding men all together and doing the English thing and making tea. That makes everything better right?! If this experience has taught me anything, it is that tea doesn't make you feel better, it doesn't cure heartache, but it does taste good and tea is a bit like smoking... an opportunity to be sociable.

Following on from the "arrrghhh I'm gonna be naked" I realise "arrrghhh, I'm gonna have to kiss someone else"... sheer panic and terror if I'm being totally honest.  I had kissed the same person for 6 years and now had to kiss someone different.  What if I don't know how to kiss a different person any more?  This played on my mind.  A lot.

I had given myself a week of wallowing after being told.  One week where there weren't any tears, but I couldn't face leaving the house and speaking to people.  I was absolutely mortified at what had happened and embarrassed about the situation, so I literally encased myself between four walls and just sat.  Drinking tea like the true English lady.  Following that week I told myself that I need to get up, dust myself down and get on.  Pull myself together.  Be brave. and all that malarky.  So that is exactly what I did.  After that week and going back to work I was all about filling the social diary.

It was a couple of months later that whilst out at a local pub that I bumped into someone I hadn't seen in a while... after a fairly long chat, mostly me being shy and him talking, we got a cab together.  For the purpose that we live nearby.  When... He kissed me!  First kiss officially stolen.  It wasn't so bad.  It wasn't great but the deed was done, and yes people do kiss differently!  But I survived and was so pleased that it was over with!  Now onto the nakedness with someone else... I thought I could kill two birds with one stone so text him... nope, plain awkwardness when no text is returned.  New found confidence taken as quickly as the first kiss...